Emerna - 2007 - Mortem Animalium
A Lengthening Ray

Leave me alone.
Just leave me, alone...

Esoteric Digression

the time has never begun and it will never end,
may poetic say it's nil?
ingredients revolve inside of an infinite blackness,
may poetic say it's nil?

there is no symphonic behavior,
just a chaotic conflict across the universe.
our centuries are a moment in receding of planets,
like the falling shatters of a res.

neverending natural cycles,
in far beyond the beautiful sphere of our tiny earth.
but completely there is nothing marvelous,
when I know the hypocrisy of material.

and again this stony world will be smoke,
in remorseless embrace of a black void.
then quietly and cryptic another world,
maybe a watery universe will create itself.

life and death are just words,
I say these are actions of an incontrovertible nature.
nothing life is true and nothing death is real,
we need some physical words to continue.

and I sigh because there is no beauteous fiction,
left in the gloomy mind.
with all my ignorance,
I cry can't suffer this physical view anymore.

now may I poetic say it's nil?
I'm like the nature, inconsistent and repugnant.
like the water on fire or death on life,
now I hate my own thought however I made that.

I love my flesh but I cut I love my love,
but I hate I love my life but I wish to die.
I can't do that because I know,
there is no one beyond the stars who takes my illusive soul.

by the name of nought

in far beyond this time, in far beyond this space,
in a gloomy silent blackness I'm searching for embrace.

like flying aimless ashes on wanderer weary winds,
I'm drifting like a torpid in the abyss seas of grief.

I wish to find my quiet when blackness shows the way,
I'll be the nymph of death, I'll swim so far away.

to where the dreams are dead, to empty depths of silence,
by the name of nought and lust, I'll sleep in the bed of absence.

for what you left me dying in nowhere of my thought?
you know yourself there's nothing in the nature but nought.

for what you left thy love alone in a corner?
for what you left my heart alive in its grave?

for what you left me dead?

I hate...

Ambiguous Delirium

nought...

vivacious in shining gardens.
when god absolves your ignorance.

sleeping with shadows of cedars.
you love your life and this joyance.

you pray for your chilish desires,
to something you never felt.

to something you never saw.
to someone you never have.

it's for when you are sunken inside lies, where you don't belong.

descending in baseless emptiness.
revolving inside of nought.

and anguished by disjointed perceptions,
in illusive incoherent thought.

invisible discordance of time.
indeterminate sense into pace.

and tearful by disjointed perceptions,
in unreal silence of grief.

it's for when you are drifting inside of reality, where you really are.

believe me there's nothing than nothing.
it's immense cycle and cypher.

you think not I know what I say.
you think not I know what I say.

just feel that discordance of nature.
believe in erosion of creature.

deny those illusive perceptions.
and accept your natural depression.

believe in resumption of death.
believe in departure of breath.

I saw a disorder in motions.
I saw those repugnant emotion.

and forget sensations you sought.
then fall into silence of nought.

you think not you knew what I said.
you think not you know what I'll say.

for I saw that infinite twister blackness,
drowned its creatures in its absolute gloom,
and thence whatever we know,
is positive obscurity of an absent reality, no more.

you are sunken in that gloom and this is not life,
because gradually you outwear, to complete a cycle.
be sure you'll never hide from erosion and revival, that's epidemic.
now if you think you have a soul,
I should to say that's nothing except your nerves,
that will stop with natural erosion of your luscious flesh.
a glorious materialistic death.
now you can curse your parents,
or hate this stupid humanity and their daydream.
you can cut your flesh with a razor,
or you can call the police or emergencies.
or you can... what am I talking about?...
I think not... let... I look again...
Ok I was a child and my dad hurt...
what?... am I insane?... where I am?...
what am I talking about?...
what am I talking about?...
what's this darkness?...
please somebody tell me what's wrong with me?...
no I'll be fine I'm sure... I'll be fine...
and I'll be there again, yeah...
no I don't know, I'm not sure, I'm not sure...
psychosis?...
what?...
cycle?...
emptiness?...
emptyness?...

huahaa...

Conclusive Evidence

and I feel this breakdown of time, the squalor of memories.
nothing is real except the unreal.
just living in a past forgotten, just staring at a paused time.
where we are is so huahaa beautiful, but the dirt is in my brain.

I hate you all

for me in that silence was death and only death.
could you hear me? no you couldn't,
you all are deaf, you all are deaf.

you all are asleep worms in nowhere of my grave to eat my dreams,
to dry my tears, to thieve my ears, to seize my wills and to kill my feel.
aren't you?

I'll rive your heads, I'll cut your necks,
I'll drink your blood and I'll eat your flesh.
I'll rend your hearts, I'll snatch your eyes,
I'll fuck your loves and I'll watch your smash.

I need your crash to watch your flour,
in bloody shore of you the cantor whores,
I'm sure you'll drown in uretic seas,
when I want to kill you stupid feas.

damn you all

sometimes I've fear from absence of life.
and sometimes I stare at bloodstained on knife.

sometimes I'm dead when I drown into nought.
and sometimes I ask where are beauties I sought?

sometimes I pray for something like love.
sometimes I die and sometimes I fly.

sometimes I know there is nothing more than gloom.
but sometimes I cry I've fear from this doom.

sometimes I dance with rakish rays of darkness.
and sometimes I sleep on bloody breast of blackness.

sometimes I search a world out of sight.
and sometimes I wish for mourning in the night.

sometimes I lost, I lost myself I think.
and sometimes I find, I find myself so sick.

sometimes I drift, I wrest myself in a cycle.
and sometimes I see that's nothing just a cypher.

sometimes I want, I wish to back again.
but sometimes I remind renewal of this chain.

sometimes I need, I need to live in lightness.
and I suddenly remember I'm no one, yeah, the Lightless.

Oh...
Oh...