|Emerna - 2007 - Mortem Animalium|
|A Lengthening Ray
Leave me alone.
the time has never begun and it will never end,
there is no symphonic behavior,
neverending natural cycles,
and again this stony world will be smoke,
life and death are just words,
and I sigh because there is no beauteous fiction,
now may I poetic say it's nil?
I love my flesh but I cut I love my love,
by the name of nought
in far beyond this time, in far beyond this space,
like flying aimless ashes on wanderer weary winds,
I wish to find my quiet when blackness shows the way,
to where the dreams are dead, to empty depths of silence,
for what you left me dying in nowhere of my thought?
for what you left thy love alone in a corner?
for what you left me dead?
vivacious in shining gardens.
sleeping with shadows of cedars.
you pray for your chilish desires,
to something you never saw.
it's for when you are sunken inside lies, where you don't belong.
descending in baseless emptiness.
and anguished by disjointed perceptions,
invisible discordance of time.
and tearful by disjointed perceptions,
it's for when you are drifting inside of reality, where you really are.
believe me there's nothing than nothing.
you think not I know what I say.
just feel that discordance of nature.
deny those illusive perceptions.
believe in resumption of death.
I saw a disorder in motions.
and forget sensations you sought.
you think not you knew what I said.
for I saw that infinite twister blackness,
you are sunken in that gloom and this is not life,
and I feel this breakdown of time, the squalor of memories.
I hate you all
for me in that silence was death and only death.
you all are asleep worms in nowhere of my grave to eat my dreams,
I'll rive your heads, I'll cut your necks,
I need your crash to watch your flour,
damn you all
sometimes I've fear from absence of life.
sometimes I'm dead when I drown into nought.
sometimes I pray for something like love.
sometimes I know there is nothing more than gloom.
sometimes I dance with rakish rays of darkness.
sometimes I search a world out of sight.
sometimes I lost, I lost myself I think.
sometimes I drift, I wrest myself in a cycle.
sometimes I want, I wish to back again.
sometimes I need, I need to live in lightness.